Eleni Vamvakari (theophania) wrote in honestyisabitch,
Eleni Vamvakari

Older Men and Younger Women

Ok, last post of the night. I was going to post a bit on my religion (not to convert but to explain who and what we are), but I'm not sure if that's allowed, so I won't. Also, if my last post with the essay was inappropriate (though it was how I honestly felt) please let me know so I can delete it. Here, I'm looking for feedback. I'm curious if anyone feels the same way or has been stereotyped, especially if you're an older man in an age gap relationship. I originally wrote this before finding my boyfriend, so I added the extras. For the record, I'm 24 and he's 62.

"The following is not based on any type of scientific research, just on my own observations. I've noticed some troubling stereotypes about older men and younger women.
1. Dirty Old Man This one could be taken as a joke. It could even be a turn-on in bed. But unfortunately, I mean it in a different way. Some people seem to think that just because an older man wants to have sex, he's automatically a child molester or a stalker of women and such. The unwritten rule seems to be have fun while your young, but as soon as you hit a certain age, sex is off limits. This truly saddens me and gives many older men, who would never even think of doing such things, a bad reputation. From what I've seen, the problem is compounded by internet usage. Now please don't take this as everyone is safe on the net and there are no such men in existance. All I'm saying is that the majority of older men are not like this. My boyfriend certainly isn't. I've never seen him get really angry, but I'm sure if he heard of a child getting hurt or of any woman being molested, he definitely would get beyond upset.
2. Gold Diggers/Moochers I'm sure we all know women who just go after guys for money, whether in the movies or in real life. But it seems to be a thing with people to assume that just because a woman is with an older man, it's for his money. This is especially the case with celebreties, and while it may be true in some cases, as with most things, one size doesn't fit all. the other idea is that if the guy doesn't have lots of money, the woman must be crazy or must have other mental issues and "needs help". My boyfriend doesn't have money, but I love him, and he makes me happy. That's why we're together.
3. The Father Syndrome (My own name used here.) This is the third alternative to the gold digger. People like Freud (whom I personally discredit on many levels) promoted this idea and I've heard it mentioned a few places today as well, though I've never taken psychology. It basically states that younger women go with older men because they need some kind of father-figure. Again, I'm sure there are exceptions, but I'm also sure that, especially today, many women would strongly disagree with this notion. While I never had a father, I did grow up with, and still have, two wonderful loving parents who filled their roles nicely. I do not feel that Spiros is like a father or grandfather to me nor do I feel I need one in my life.

So there they are. My question now becomes, how can these views be changed. Does anyone notice differences in how people view age gap relationships today as opposed to in the past. Has the "acceptable" gap in age changed at all? What about if it was reversed and the woman was older and the man younger?"

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